The site filmschoolrejects.com, known for its sense of humor, has compiled a humorous list of candidates for participation in the sequel to the action film Sylvester Stallone "The Expendables", supporting the choice with small comments for each candidate. So, let's begin…
- Jean-Claude Van Damme. A man with a nickname “Muscles from Brussels” rejected the role offered to him in the film, proving why he was not named “Brains from Brussels”. We hope he realizes his mistake and agrees to the second part.
- Michael Jay White. What, are you kidding me, bastard? Black Dynamite must be a member of the team. Mainly because he's a scary, scary person.
- Michael Dudikoff. There were a lot of ninja movies in the 80s, but movies with more racist titles than “American Ninja”, it wasn’t there then. Just kidding, it's not racist, and the movie isn't that good, but this action movie is a staple of the 80s.
- Wesley Snipes. Was originally supposed to play the role Hale Caesar, but due to tax problems, he fled the country with his tail between his legs. As soon as he gets this all sorted out, we'll give him the green light to get started.
- Ving Rhames. Taking into account the enormous muscle mass in "Dawn of the Dead", VinguIt's probably best to fight an elephant or box a lion.
- Scott Adkins. Outstanding Supporting Character (Undeniable 2), incredible double (Wolverine) and rising action star (Undeniable 3, Ninja), Adkins - a world-class fighter who moves superbly on screen.
- Quinton Jackson. Made several films for UFC and earned a prominent role in “Team A”. Cool guy.
- Carl Weathers. The only person who managed to get any closer to the level Arnold Schwarzenegger (Predator). Weathers it is necessary to return back to the battle.
- Jesse Ventura. Another big guy from "Predator". Jesse fits all the boxes: action star, old and emaciated. [whistles] (Don't kill me, please)
- Steven Seagal. Besides Van Damme, he is the only major star of the 80s that was missing. Well, except for [the next candidate]...
- Chuck Norris. From Chuck Just a cameo appearance is enough. He has stopped acting recently, but now is the right time for him to appear. This is how I imagine this cameo appearance. Four people from the team Expendables, or more, burst into the room. There's only one Chuck. He slowly turns around and begins to stare at them. Stallone says: “Wrong room”. And they leave him alone - because he very cool.
- Tom Jane. He doesn't care who punish, sharks or John Travolta. Jane Has athleticism and can handle tough roles. Let him put his dick back in his pants (Stallion) and pick up a real weapon.
- Isaiah Mustafa. Who? The guy from the commercial "Old Spice". Yeah, the guy from the commercial "Old Spice". Everyone loves his commercials, and studios are looking for somewhere to put him so that his fame can start generating income. If he starred in the film, it would be too good. How many jokes can you make about diamonds and smelling good? A lot of. Who would he play? The answer is simple: brother Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), who was recently kicked out of the Rangers. Sly, if you can hear me...
Completely wild assumptions
- Kurt Russell. Russell apparently turned down the possibility of filming “Tango and Cash 2”, as well as a role in the first "The Expendables", so he just needs a cameo role in the sequel Stallone in memory of the good old days. Plus, he's awesome.
- Peter Weller. RoboCop. That says it all.
- Michael Bean. In fact, everyone who has ever acted in a film with Schwarzenegger, should automatically be included in the cast of this action movie.
- Robert Patrick. Maybe to replace Eric Roberts?
- Roddy Piper. Just in case we don't have enough old wrestlers.
- Clint Eastwood. Again, here only in the episode, either as some super cool boss, or as the leader of an even older group of mercenaries.
- Mel Gibson. I am not kidding. U Mela There are many militants on his record and he needs to restore public opinion about himself. What's better than mixing "Mad Max" with the army "The Expendables"?
- Charles Bronson, made entirely through computer graphics. No, I'm kidding.
Who would you choose for "The Expendables 2"?
Author: Robert Fuhr
Source: filmschoolrejects
Translation: EvilDollaR
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Tags: The Expendables 2, Wing Rhames, Jesse Ventura, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Isaiah Mustafa, Karl Weathers, Clint Eastwood, Quinton Jackson, Kurt russell, Michael Biehn, Michael Jai White, Michael Dudikoff, Mel Gibson, Peter Weller, Robert Patrick, Roddy Piper, Sylvester Stallone, Scott Adkins, Steven Seagal, Tom Jane, Wesley Snipes, Chuck Norris, Charles Bronson
Tags: The Expendables 2, Wing Rhames, Jesse Ventura, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Isaiah Mustafa, Karl Weathers, Clint Eastwood, Quinton Jackson, Kurt russell, Michael Biehn, Michael Jai White, Michael Dudikoff, Mel Gibson, Peter Weller, Robert Patrick, Roddy Piper, Sylvester Stallone, Scott Adkins, Steven Seagal, Tom Jane, Wesley Snipes, Chuck Norris, Charles Bronson
Hahaha I laughed about Chuck, but seriously, you can push him into a cameo role, but what is really missing is Van Damme and Seagal for complete happiness, and of course Mr. Hong Kong Jackie Chan, but where to insert him, I don’t see a suitable role for him =(
Jackie Chan definitely
And here “between the lowercase two” Arnie is holding a cigar with 2 fingers)))
In general, I would really like to see such a section on the site, “Posters, possible films”, very unusual and dynamic) There is a huge layer for creativity! (Shameful Auto Radio, you could erase it and write coming soon on August 12! And write the title of the film in English) Why are you Kso, are you shooting up the office? I would fix it)
Well, what can you say about the fight scenes? Everything is quite cheerful, nothing particularly terrible.
PS Correct poster at the request of workers))
Kso, well done. Another two would be worth adding. ;)
Everything works in Mozilla Firefox 3.6 (I don’t know how it works in 3.6.8), in Chrome, in Opera, and in IE too. It should appear like this:
[Edit comment | Comment removal request ]
You have: (x minutes and xx seconds) to edit or delete
In any case, this is only a temporary measure. For the normal functioning of the forum, registration will be enabled again, and registered users will be able to edit their comments without time limits. We'll also come up with something with avatars.
I noticed now, but this is only a temporary opportunity to edit a comment, but is it possible to make a permanent “edit” button so that it is not limited to 10 minutes?
I’m using Mozilla Firefox 3.6.8 and the “edit” message or something like that hasn’t appeared (Are you planning to register on the site? So that there would be a temporary session, in general everything is like on large portals? The ability to insert an avatar, personal account.
After watching the first part of the film and reading information about the possible second, I would like to share my opinion on this matter.
On a number of points, I completely agree with the author of the article “Comic list of candidates for roles in The Expendables 2” Robert Fury.
From such a film, they expected an effect like from the 1st “Matrix”, there had to be something stunning. In my opinion, the only thing is that new personnel are not allowed into the Hollywood film industry for fear of the complete survival of the “old people” by young personnel, modern knowledge, which can leave the “old guard” unemployed. Only new footage from fans and viewers (with articles from forums and fan sites where wishes are expressed about what people want to see in a film of this scale, and this is a huge analytical work ), such films and in particular the possible “The Expendables 2” will be able to equip them with the “KA” effect (Mowgli USSR 1973).
I would divide the innovations into the feed into 2 parts.
Part 1, the actors that everyone was waiting for, but they weren’t there, or they were there, but with an extremely vague role or a very short one:
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Michael Dudikoff
Karl Weathers
Arnold Schwarzenegger (with an expanded role) On this poster, there should be no trace of Statham, only and only Arnie!!! The same as Sly with a cigar in the left corner of his mouth.
They made Mickey Rourke into some kind of rocker (he looked much better in Iron Man 2)
Steven Seagal
Robert Patrick
Ralf Moeller
Peter Weller
Kevin Costner
Karl Weathers
Ving Rhames
Bolo Yeung
Antonio Banderas
Brian Thompson
Mark Dacascos
Richard Norton
Gary Daniels (reveal role)
Christopher Lambert
Philip Rea
Donie Yen (would replace him with Jet Li)
Jackie Chen (only without his clown antics and beating children, the strict supervision of the action director over this particular actor, no ad-libbing, must be a master of the 5 beasts style)
No Tom Janes, Jesse Venturs, Quinton Jacksons, Scot Adkins, Isaev Mustafovs, Michael Beans, Rody Pipers, Wesley Snipes, Mel Gibsons, Kurt Russells, Michael Jay Whites should not be here, this is not their feed, so anyone who when either played with Sly or with Vandam, also dragged in.
They must be entered into the feed as part of the team's characters.
I think that from those newcomers who were in the film (Jet Li, Statham, Fighters Without Rules) and from those whom I listed as undesirable components, you need to choose 2 characters for some zealous fight scenes, the old men are unlikely to show anything - then mega active but only 2x no more (as an option but not advisable, you can stage scenes with elderly stars, depending on their capabilities it will be very watchable and exciting).
Here, from the very beginning, it was immediately necessary to position the film as 2 parts. We need a screenwriter of the level of “Treacherous Lies”, at least it’s better not to let Sly get to the pen hundreds of kilometers away).
Of course, the budget for the film is already with a different number of zeros.
A separate conversation should be held with the directors of action and combat scenes (and with the lighting designer + cameraman) almost 80% of the film’s success lies with these people. Still, the director is most likely an artist, not a fighter with a clear understanding of what a combat or combat scene should consist of action scene with its vision, beginning, climax and ending. Jon Valera, Jonathan Eusebio and Chad Stahelski have successful works BUT in this film they showed how not to stage action and fight scenes (perhaps they know how to hit correctly, they know the techniques and combinations of how to fall and not break, but how to make the scene interesting and spectacular, they don’t have the slightest idea), they study, study and study again, and it would be better not on such expected projects! Who to propose for the role of director, a very difficult question how for the action director, you can consider John Woo, and let Corey Yuen (but only with the team of the first carrier) or Yuen Woo Ping or Donie Yen be in charge of the action scenes.
Because to ruin the fight scenes in The Expendables, you need to try and do it purposefully. A basketball court, a sunny day, wonderful lighting, a trained actor, a company of “mukujins”, the perfect moment, you can show any combat system in its full glory. Statham doesn’t wave with legs like Denis Ruel or Ron Smoorenburg, well, okay, let it be hand-to-hand combat Krav Maga, keysi fight method, hard combat sambo, Urban Combatives, there are a huge number of systems. You can also invite an instructor from the French Legion or from the American Rangers for training, very there are many options. Under such conditions, the scene should automatically be included in the top 10 best battle scenes of the year for sure (if not the century), but not in the top 10 worst =(It was necessary to manage to show such a lack of clarity, the cameraman “sitting on the spot” contributed, camera creepy.
If the scene was conceived as, so to speak, “A five-point performance of one of the team members,” why not make it somewhere on a sports ground and put it against 5 military hooligans, more or less prepared in a fight, to generally reveal the theme to the fullest? The cinema already has scenes of a similar nature, for example in the film “Romeo Must Die” Jet Li vs Rugby Team or a comic, BUT full of dynamics, scene from “The Cable Guy” with the frantic Jim Carey in the gym. Each of these scenes has life and, most importantly, dynamics .What do we see, the sad guys from the crowd and the “adrenaline-filled bull” Statham (a standard facial expression for all his films). In all the visible and legible fight scenes, it was Jason Statham, neither Gary Daniels nor Jet Li nor Randy Couture who appeared, apparently he has a serious cronyism. In my opinion, the advertising campaign of this actor has not fully reached our country, otherwise action figures would have been sold on every corner.
And the scene of the fight between Jet Li and Dolph Lungren, why does it have to be done in some dark alley??? The trend of fight scenes under the general title “a black ninja in a dark room without windows in a bunker underground at a depth of 10 meters” is, for unknown reasons, feverishly gaining popularity (the reasons in principle are quite clear, a shortened bluejet, quickly sorted into pockets, for quality specialists $$$ it wasn’t enough, they saddled as best they could) among the filmmakers. Why not light up the hangar? And not put mats on the floor? Any scene of a fight between 2 stars of films of the past with martial arts is worth its weight in gold, and if you manage to whistle in a fight of 2 famous actors who starred in films with martial arts, you need to work on such a scene much more seriously. If we talk about a more competent development of the film, then its creation would have dragged on for another N amount of time, and this is wasted time in the rental season, the nervous smoking of an extra box of cigars by the financial director, in general, as always, faster, faster "and to hell with it everyone, just to quickly pump $$$ from the spectators’ pockets into their own pockets.” And the scene with the “rebels” “Sylvester Stallone and Jason Statham vs cardboard target” cannot be called anything else, 10-12 prepared militants and not 1 was even shot to the air!? Complete “absurdity”, reminiscent of cheap VHS trash of the video store level. Only a shootout, diluted with elements of bayonet fighting, not even so much bayonet fighting, but the so-called “military Yoroi kumiuchi” in a modern interpretation (it is advisable to hire a specialist on this issue from the military , to show the system in full glory) 1-2 knife throws, MAXIMUM (but not the whole scene consisting only of this). Such actions, in my opinion, would make the scene really interesting and watchable.
But it’s not according to the scheme, “threw the knife, came, took it out, threw the knife, came, took it out,” a laugh-out-loud show and that’s all. Many people write that the film was shot in the style of the 80s, a simple plot, shooting, poster actors and everything seems so great and it must be this style, everything is supposed to be in order!? It might have been fine before, when there was an “Iron Curtain” and any “Western drop” was like a sip of water, like a whole jug. But the “Iron Curtain” has been gone for a long time; films like Avatar, Iron Man 2 and Hulk 2 are shown in cinemas for a long time, all in 3D , apparently soon it will be in 4D, in which there is everything: action and love and a plot, most importantly everything is modern. If Sylvester Stallone hoped for the “Iron Curtain” effect that would empty the coffers of Russian viewers, then he was greatly mistaken. The number of celebrities on the poster, the viewer today it’s impossible to lure (some of the most expected ones were never able to be attracted to filming, and the most expected ones had extremely vague roles) and especially since the most effective moments of the film were laid out in advance. Let’s hope that the second part of the film will not be taken in quantity , but quality (although quantity wouldn’t hurt either =).
If Sly really wanted to make a film in the VHS style, then he greatly miscalculated; films such as Pearl Harbor, Iron Man and Hulk have long pushed the so-called style of action films shown in video stores into the “archive.” The very idea of making trash for big screens is absurd .
The second part of the innovations in the film, the appearance at some point of an older team of action stars. Like in the film “Killer Couple: Starsky and Hutch”, year 2004, they introduced this principle. So that the heroes from Sly’s team would be in shock (pathetic adrenaline music and five-point appearance of "Mercenaries of the Old Guard".
Who should be from the "old school"?
Clint Eastwood
Chuck Norris
Sean Connery
Harvey Keitel
Harrison Ford
Cynthia Rothrock
Rudger Hauer
Fred Williamson
Sho Kossugi
Dan Inosanto
Computer Bruce Lee
Computer Charles Bronkson
PS
Oh, how the site needs a forum so that the news about the film does not become history and the discussion does not freeze.
Please, please return the ability to edit comments.
Did.
There will be a forum, but later. Pre-production is underway, as it were. :)
About Chuck is powerful.
Normal camera and editing work.
Frankly, I personally didn’t like the fights in this film, just Statham’s last shot on the basketball court and that’s it! Something is missing in this film. Definitely.
I was in a rush)) Okay, I’ll quietly wait for the 2nd part without the “what if”.
=)))
)) Yes it would be nice! ... It would be interesting to see how Van Damme receives from the Great Wushu player Jet Li.. Or a fight between two big men: Statham and Scott Adkins)))) Although Statham is not as good as Adkins! )
Jija also ;) Mark Hoang Hee, Kazu, David Bueno, Dan Chupong, Brahim Achkhabane, Dan Oneil, Dean Alexandro, Michael B, Pannu Rittikrai :) Koujao Kapo, Litifa Karudera, Natanna Jones, Donnie Yen, Yuen Biao, Sammo Hungga, Ken Law, Benny Urquidez, Michael Woods, EVERYONE in general ;)
And also Mark Dacascos, Bolo Yong and somewhere in the crowd Cynthia Rothrock, Lauren Avedon, David Bradley, Brian Thompson.
Hulk Hogan!
Tony Jaa became a monk :) That's it.
When will filming start for the second part?
Notice that Scott, on the contrary, was not mocked, but praised. But they forgot about Tony Jaa...
Scott, Jean, Segal, Chuck and the cast from the first part would be awesome.
Now, if Scott were given a positive role, otherwise he will most likely play the bad guy again, as they wanted to do in the first part.
Chuck's beard decides everything :) Not to mention his arms and legs :)
By the way, interesting fact:
Van Damme said that he turned down the role because Sly did not really explain to him who he should play, etc. And Sly recently said that Van Damme turned it down because he didn’t want to lose to Jet Li on screen, and his role was given to Dolph Lundgren.
PS But you can’t refuse Chuck. Otherwise there will be trouble... :)