Review of the Expendables franchise from Uran

29.09.2023uranium

I can’t say that I was really looking forward to this film, just like I was waiting for the first part many years ago. "The Expendables", how a couple of years later I was waiting for the second part (there Jean-Claude Van Damme, live there Scott Adkins will!). I understood perfectly well that at best it would be a pass-through, it was already clear from the trailers, from the statements, from the cast, and from my own experience, when with an already trained eye you SEE from the small details of the trailer, from the progress (no) of the films what and how approximately will. Well, I looked.

Before talking about the film's problems (and they have "Undov 4" completely), we need to remember the problems and advantages of previous films. Let's start with the first film.

"The Expendables" (dir. Sylvester Stallone, 2010)

When "The Expendables" came, I burst into the cinema then with a friend, and got a pleasant impression. Why?

• Charisma and acting. Jason Statham plays the cool Statham, Sly-Rambo in years with sad experience behind him, Lundgren the drug addict (the best actor in the film, by the way, played incomparably), fast and dexterous, but for some reason weak Jet Li, Terry Crews... there were doubts about him, to be honest: why was he needed, especially an unknown guy at that time (there are plenty of famous movie Negroes), but no, he almost made me cry with joy with his badabum gun, and the atmosphere was right he created the “negro cinema” properly. Who the hell wasn't needed was this Randy Couture, but more about it below.
• The villains are real and dangerous. Cunning Eric Roberts with pretentious phrases, evil jock Steve Austin, who let the heroes shit themselves, Dolph Lundgren again, well Gary Daniels, who has more time in the director’s cut, but who also got to fight. The villains were truly dangerous, and it took at least two heroes for EACH to defeat them, and I believed that this was the real EVIL that was ruining everything. They gave the CIA officers a good boost and were quite on point.
• There was a lot of action. Each character had his own feature, his own pros and cons (except for Statham, he probably had no weaknesses). The action was mostly shooting, but there was also a lot of room for fights. Blood, guts, shot off heads, various guns, a lot of explosions - yes, even if it was drawn on a computer, it still looked cool.

There were few downsides, but this spoiled the viewer’s blood “a little” - this is the famous evil shaky camera in action, the scourge of action films of the 2000s, which is currently rapidly becoming a thing of the past (even in Russian TV series!); In addition to this, there was also crappy editing. Alas, many scenes were spoiled by this, but in the director’s cut, released a year or two later, this was corrected a little, and the correct title card with a sad song was inserted. Not everyone liked it Eric Roberts as the villain - everyone wanted the furious Van Damme, who would stage the final fight.

Personally, I think the main advantage is the plot that this film had. He talked about the fact that in the pursuit of blood money one must not lose humanity, which Sly showed by saving an entire country for free. I consider the first part (director's cut) to be the best in the entire franchise.

"The Expendables 2" (dir. Simon West, 2012)

Well, everyone loves this part: Vanya, Adkins, Chuck Norris and he will even joke about one of the memes about Chuck (which by that time had already managed to bully everyone). Perhaps everyone loves her, but the film only passes the test of time with difficulty. Well, let's take a quick look:

• Vandam, ok. Best Belgian role? No! He stomped around, said pretentious phrases about goats, pretentiously killed Thor Jr. (Liam Hemsworth), at the end there was a short duel with Sly, the whole film hid the soaked balls behind black glasses. The fight as a whole... well, ok, it will work, but after those who came out then "Raids", "Undisputed" и "Ong Bakov" I wanted something better, more jaw-dropping, longer, more dramatic. The battle of the titans was too short, I would have added a couple more minutes to it at least. Thanks at least to Jean-Claude’s doubles for repeating the famous jump kick twice (yes, they’re telling me that Vanya supposedly jumped himself and they even discard the video proof, but I don’t believe that it was his jump that was included in the final edit, it’s too much dark and unclear).
• Adkins, ok. He looked like a homeless person, had no charisma, all he remembered was the fight with Statham, and lo and behold, he was the only one who could beat Jason up. He died beautifully, thank you for that. The fight was short, and the essence of my complaint takes its roots from a very similar film "American Special Forces" where the same Adkins, playing an Englishman, fights with the right hand of the main villain (Vladislavas Jakukevicius), where the fight looks fucking awesome. Look and compare everything: from the images of the characters, to the fighting style, to the shooting style, to the coolness of the techniques, and so on, and you will understand why I am dissatisfied, and you yourself will become dissatisfied. Adkins had to, as in the first part, be put out by several heroes, so that the battle would be difficult, so that they would defeat him somehow, so that he would have time to hit at least someone in the back, so that I would believe that he is DIFFICULT.
• Norris, ok. Honestly, cool Chuck Norris went back to the 90s, and he stood out not so much with his fighting style, but with his cool, peasant charisma, and you believe him on the screen that he will come and solve all your problems. He does this here too, appearing beautifully in the scene with the tank. It just looks somehow... Inappropriate in a serious action movie. Norris should have been given more FIGHT, given some serious opponent, but in the end he was needed for a skit.
• Action scenes, ok. The beginning is truly cool: shootouts, explosions, an airplane, Thor Jr. shoots off the villains' heads, a variety of equipment, cool cars - no complaints, even the shaky camera was removed. Jet Li, no longer in the best shape, gives off a good fight with a bunch of Asians, and it is clearly visible that this excerpt was filmed by someone else, cooler and more savvy, probably Yuen Woo-Ping or Corey Yuen passed by. But from the middle the film sags tediously, and even the scene with Van Damme looks... Like a meeting of two teams of sleep-deprived drunks who are looking for a place to recover their hangover on a foggy autumn morning. Hemsworth was the only one who looked like he wasn’t a drunk, and that’s why they killed him, but it’s a pity, one of the best little-known actors at that time who starred in it and, by the way, gave a good dialogue on the plane. The scene in the church is very good, alas, diluted by a fight and shootout of some homeless people with others (seriously, the actors were not dressed very well, yes, disguises, all that, but somehow... Well, not that).

The finale brought a “good” line to all this, revealing a bunch of celebrities in a mega-shootout, but it looked more like a skit: old actors gathered, remembered the old times over a bottle, and filmed this scene with the remaining money. Yes, we tried not to look too sloppy, but this is an ordinary shootout, even on John Woo doesn’t work (and he, by the way, discussed his participation in parts 2 and 3 and even suggested some ideas, for example, a fight between Vanya and Jet Li), there are few ideas, even the first part in this matter was many times better. There were some really skittish scenes with the tennis star Novak Djokovic, fortunately, they were cut out, but they made it clear what kind of farce it had almost descended into. Alas, they also took away the moments with Lundgren and Crews, who became superfluous at this celebration of life and reflected only a couple of jokes.

No, the film is not bad, and I understand why it is considered the best: they worked on the mistakes in the action, gave the viewer a fight with Van Damme (I’m glad that my now deceased grandfather managed to see this scene), called Adkins. They just could have done better, for example instead Yu Nan call Kelly Hu or Michelle Yeoh, and additionally invite them to play the role of villains Lorenzo Lamasa, Don Dragon-fucking-leg Wilson и Frank Zagarino, so that the whole team has someone to fight with.

"The Expendables 3" (dir. Patrick Hughes, 2014)

I don’t remember it well, even though I watched it one and a half times, so the conversation about it will be shorter. Even from the second part, everything began to slide into Bulgarian: poor cheap scenery, homeless people playing the role of opponents, general dullness in general, no-names in key roles, and in my memory only Isaac Florentine, and even then not always, here the Bulgarian language has increased in many ways. The composition of the type has been strengthened Mel Gibson (Glavgad), Ronda Rousey и Antonio Banderas, chattering incessantly. Ronda was a strong, independent woman who constantly repeated the phrase “men,” but she fought well on screen, Banderas was humorous, Gibson honestly tried to act... That’s where the positives come to an end.

Why the hell are there so many nonames? Why the hell should they, these no-names, overload the Neudov team? Fuck the villains only Mel Gibson? I know what was planned there Gina Carano stick it in and have a fight between her and Rosie, but it didn’t work out and that’s bad. Returning late Wesley Snipes It would be better to join the team of villains, for example, with the motivation “Barney is all suckers, or is it just me,” but a cool one Terry Crews For some reason they leaked it at the very beginning. The only thing that saves this whole farce is some long military action sequence at the end, the number of dust-sprinkling stars has been replenished Harrison Ford, and the final fight with Gibson is not impressive at all. The extras were unprincipled, there were almost no boss battles, Lundgren and Couture were fucking unnecessary again... And I simply forgot the rest. I have nothing more to say about this passerby, let’s quickly move on to 4 before I forget about it. Oh yes, there was also a children's rating, which generally put an end to the film.

"The Expendables 4" (dir. Scott Waugh, 2023)

We have gathered here precisely because of this film, it’s time to talk about it. I immediately, even from the trailers, realized that it would be the same pass-through as the troika, the question is, will it be worse or better than it? You see, when something is PROMISED to the satisfaction of the public, I immediately begin to tense up; remember the film adaptations "Tekken" and recent "Mortal Kombat": look, we are playing a game, we will do it like in the game, look, we will have blood and guts, as you furiously asked, we will have obscenity, everything is according to the precepts of 18+! We also NOTICED and invited stars from samizdat (read guys from YouTube and low-budget films) and invited Michael Moeller!!!! And everyone was like “yay!” It's too early to yell, guys, it's too early. Let’s take it in order, what we promised and what we received, I’m just more used to it this way, it’s difficult otherwise.

1. Plot. Barney Ross, as the synopsis does not lie, is killed early (they show a charred corpse, everything is as it should be), Statham is expelled for stupidity, and a traitor, a certain Ocelot, whom they were looking for, and his assistant Rahman (Iko Uwais), was not caught. The team is now headed by a CIA officer Andy Garcia и Megan Fox - Statham’s mistress (Charisma Carpenter got lost somewhere between parts). A rapper joins the team Fiftycent (even in the first part I wanted to leak it, but fans of action films did not let this “miracle” happen), the son of Banderas’ character (Jacob Scipio) and a blonde Asian woman with a chain (Levi Tran) - they all go in different ways to the ship, where they fight with a bunch of mercenaries led by Iko Uwaisom and his no-name assistant. That's it, the whole plot. However, if you look closely, they worked on the script and plot, trying to convey some kind of morality, coherent jokes, justifying the actions of the characters and even intrigue, albeit simple, but intrigue. The problem is that in the general dullness of the film it is impossible to notice this, and there is no need to.

2. Actors:

• Andy Garcia He tried, but he had nothing to play with. I noticed that in his jacket he resembled Harvey Dent from "Batman" and their old roles of mafiosi and casino heads.
• Megan Fox? At first it infuriated me, because for some reason they filmed a scene where she arranges a typical TP-ish dressing down of Christmas and this dressing down seemed to me longer in time than the scene of Statham's dressing down of Adkins in the second part; then she was given a fight scene in the style "Mr and Mrs Smith" with the same Jason, she generally had a lot of screen time, but she didn’t show anything other than TP, it’s not her fault, but the weak script, in fights she cosplays the Widow from the films one on one "Marvel", she has few of these fights and you won’t remember them. The topic of boobs is not covered, don’t expect super erotica (although maybe I watched the wrong version?). Want more Megan? Play the new MK, there is a lot of her (she became the image and voice of Vampirella Nitara).
• Skipio, Tran, Fiftisent - only Live Tran I remember it, the rest were nothing, they didn’t come up with anything new, there were almost no jokes. U Jacob Schipio there were good passages, they were short, and at the right moment, when he had a chance to open up, they told him - move away, kid, I’ll sort it out. Tran wielded chains, legs, arms, did double-teams with different characters, and thank goodness for that - again, it wasn’t enough.
• Lundgren and Couture - the former’s charisma was very impressive, alas, they didn’t give him anything in terms of action. The second one pulled a joke from the first part about the ear and that’s it. Just as it was fucking unnecessary, it remains fucking unnecessary.
• It was a very nice bonus Tony Jaa. He fought as he should, together with Statham and Tran he made double teams, he cut in style and looked in style (even if the style was homeless, like many things in this film), he is a rare plus of this film.
• Uwais - ok. I shot a little, cut a little, and fought with Statham at the end for a couple of minutes. He dragged, a little, but he dragged, but if you invited Uwais to the cinema, then where are the cut off fingers, the brutally and stylishly beaten enemies, where are the bloody shootouts and torture? After all, the rating allowed! But no, just as they weren’t in "Triple Threat" (2018)
• Well, Statham - he is also Statham in Africa - dragged, cut with a knife, shot, killed, joked - and, alas, it is clear that he has greatly lost in age and in toughness. He carries all the parts "The Expendables", including this one.
• Oh yes, Mike Moeller, forgot. Well, they gave him a funny episode, even two. They almost didn’t let me fight and in general I thought it was Simon Pegg dragged along for another cameo.

3. Action. The action was okay, it was really bad, but he was in the film, and as always, a lot. But something is no longer there, the cool stunts remained mainly in the previous parts, the ideological and toughness remained there, but you can still catch your eye here, and basically all the advantages lay with the Asians, who, as always, will try to save the fights in any even a shitty movie. Shootouts? After "John Wick" no matter how controversial the feelings from this film are, the shootouts look pathetic here, but who, even "Last chance" with Adkins it looks much more interesting, although it was shot for pennies. Yes, they promised blood and guts? It wasn’t much, but in the second and first parts it was much cooler. Perhaps only the main villain will die harshly. Traveling around the ship in cars and motorcycles, and double teams between Jason and the Asians are also good. The fight with Uwais lasted 2-3 minutes, for such a film it was not bad, but again, this is not what I wanted to see between the star of bloody action films Iko Uwaisom and star of technical action films Jason Statham. There is nothing more to say.

It takes a long time to sum up the results. The 4th part is not really complete shit, no. It has action, there are jokes, there are famous actors, but everything looks somehow wrong: at the end of the 90s, in the wilds of the Russian Internet, a good word “dull” was coined, and now it fits here. There is little ideological content, little acting, everyone looks old and unnecessary, and the presence of guest stars only gets in the way, they are fucking unnecessary. The film does not look like a full-fledged movie, it looks like a good episode of the series from the late XNUMXs and early XNUMXs ("Chinese Policeman", "Cool Walker"), which tells me that it would be better if they turned "The Expendables" into a high-budget series, where they would drag actors from all over the world. Everything had to be done differently, and it was necessary to do it differently not in the 4th part, but also in the second.

Once upon a time, when the second part had not yet been released, there were pseudo-leaks and fakes about its plot, one of them ended up on this site and the “retelling” of the plot there was noticeably cooler than what ultimately came out: Lamas and Wilson in the plot, Christopher Lambert for the role of the torturer, more brutal fights, Van Damme or Adkins getting killed in a fight Jet Li and they take revenge for him, and not for Thor Jr. (or is he the elder? Suddenly confused). There were a lot of such leaks and it was very bad that Sylvester Stallone I haven't read them. Therefore, when criticizing, I propose:

1. Randy Couture I shouldn't have taken it at all. He is considered an MMA legend there, although his record is so-so (in that era it was not customary to buy 20-0 records for yourself, so fighters with a good record were valued), and of the famous opponents, he was the only one who did not lose Fedor Emelianenko due to not meeting the latter. There are more colorful guys in MMA like Brock Lesnar (although he’s such an MMA guy, he’s a wrestler who got there through connections), Georges St-Pierre, and Fedor himself, who in the domestic shit-rip-off Neudov "The Salamander Key" (2011) looked many times more charismatic than the entire Salamander team and than Couture and Fiftycent from the last parts combined. I could take his place Hulk Hogan or Dwayne Johnson, especially since they asked to "The Expendables" and they would probably be decorated. True, the entire budget would have gone to the Rock...

2. Call Florentine or Wu Ping with Chu-Fai to direct and stage fights and DO NOT interfere with them (if you interfere with Florentine, it will turn out "Hercules" и "Hostage").

3. Gather Lamas, Wilson, Zagarino, Kelly Hu, Apollo Cook, Brian Genessey, Oleg Taktarov and give them the roles of villains and COMPLEX villains so that they can let the heroes fuck off. When I was alive Billy Drago, you could call him too. And yes, I remember that not all of them know how to fall and fight, the understudies will help out. If you again cast Van Damme in the role of Glavgad’s brother from the 2nd part, code him six months before filming for drunkenness.

4. Dedicate one of the parts to confronting young stars. To Glavgady Christopher Lambert, Roberta DeNiro or Leonardo DiCaprio (really, where does the budget come from...?), they are assisted by all the modern and not very militant “youngsters”: Charlie Hungnam, Chris "Thor Sr." Hemsworth, Mike Moeller, Donnie Yen (at the time of 2 “Failures”, not very old), Tom Hardy, Jamie Fox, John Cena, young MMA athletes and wrestlers..., Statham will give a tough fight with Tom Hardy.

5. Send to Asia, where to wave with Sammo Hoon, Jackie Wu etc., put it in the team Jackie Chan (give more money so that he agrees, otherwise he doesn’t want to be in “Nudady”, but in trash stories like "Viy 2" and others like him with Knoxville and Cena are removed without question), as villains - Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, give him a fight with Lundgren.

6. Took Megan Fox? Show her tits, ass and give her more obscene angles, put her in a diving suit, and that blonde Asian girl as a rival, so that between them there will be a wrestler, first in chains, then with knives, and then in the mud. By the way, the old militants were taken out due to this.

7. And fucking work on the script and plot. Did you work in the first one?

Dreams Dreams. Which can only come true in homemade games based on them. And with the series "The Expendables" we say goodbye, and the reason for this is not the aging actors (in Tarantino, Marvel and DC, everything is played well by old people, running and shooting), but the scripts, shitty directing and skittishness, when they remember about themselves, but forget about the audience.

I was with you uranium, peace to all and bye. I express my gratitude Oleg Chernenko for help in writing and reading errors.

Home » Reviews » Review of the Expendables franchise from Uran
Tags: The Expendables, The Expendables 2, The Expendables 3, The Expendables 4, Antonio Banderas, Gary Daniels, Jacob Schipio, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Iko Uwais, Levi Tran, Liam Hemsworth, Mike Moeller, Megan Fox, Mel Gibson, Patrick Hughes, Ronda Rousey, Randy Couture, Simon West, Sylvester Stallone, Scott Waugh, Scott Adkins, Steve Austin, Terry Crews, Tony JAA, Wesley Snipes, Fifty Cent, Harrison Ford, Chuck Norris, Andy Garcia, Eric Roberts, Yu Nan

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