Drunk review of the action movie Ninja

16.02.2010EvilDollaR

I've seen a lot of reviews of films, and action films in particular, but I've only come across a few articles written while intoxicated. :) One of these reviews is dedicated to the recent film by Isaac Florentine called "Ninja" (Ninja) and, despite the author’s drunken state, it is written very competently and with a considerable sense of humor. I think it will be interesting to fans too Scott Adkins, and to all fans of this genre.

Before you start reading this review, I would like to confront you all with the fact that I was completely drunk while watching Ninja, and will be in a similar state again as I write this review. I had already drunk half the bag of wine and before I took it out DVD disc with “Ninja” by Isaac Florentine, watched “Send Him to Hell, Malone.” But I think that getting drunk before a film like this is a necessary measure in order to fully appreciate what it can offer the viewer.

As soon as the hastily written prologue flashed on the screen in front of my swollen eyes, a training dojo appeared on the screen and a cheap, tasteless logo that had to be seen in person. If my foggy memory serves me correctly, the letters, with disgusting sound effects, flew across the screen like throwing stars. Hell, even the giant silver font looked like it came straight out of an 80s VHS tape.

I started laughing before the movie even started. From the very beginning we see Scott Adkins playing with super bulging muscles, a kind of “white guy about to kick everyone's ass and pick up a hot Japanese girl.” I don't know if it was the alcohol I drank or the sound effects, but I spilled beer all over my keyboard. You see, Scott Adkins is super cool. He tenses so much when he moves that you can literally hear his muscles stretching like tanned leather. I was already getting ready for the HD version of “American Ninja” when suddenly everything started to change.

You see, Ninja is one hell of a movie. It's trashy, funny and killer, just like it should be “Ninja Assassin” (Ninja Assassin). I don't write for AintitCool.com and no studio bought me whores to get me to write a positive review. I'm not sure exactly what movie Capone (?) watched, but I still regret wasting expensive Fantastic Fest time watching James McTeigue's incompetent pile of crap.

The action in Ninja is fast, brutal and frequent. In contrast to the aforementioned unlit and re-edited stool, Ninja has excellent fight choreography, and it's quite impressive considering the film's low budget direct-to-DVD release. This is not surprising, because the film was made by the man who created the cult “Undisputed 2”.

I note that several moments were slightly borrowed from Zack Snyder. In particular, we are talking about one fight that looks like an illegitimate child of “Seven Samurai”, “Sword of Destiny” and “300 Spartans”, in which the screen villain “takes out” the entire dojo clan. Only in this episode does Florentine use slow motion and zoom in unexpectedly. Identical to 300, except for the rain and people wearing yukata instead of armor. In justification, I’ll say that I’d rather savor a slow-motion mochilov than a mounted cut, after which you won’t be able to tell anything.

I give another plus to “Ninja” for at least some respect for the art of ninjutsu. Damn, at least it has a fair amount of scenes filmed in Tokyo and New York. There are weak moments on the green background, but for the most part, I believed that the action on the screen actually took place in Japan and America. Again, the same cannot be said about “Ninja Assassin”.

I fully admit that the cast consists mainly of Japanese Americans rather than actual Japanese, and this is noticeable in the Japanese pronunciation. But for such a move, for the Japanese dialogues of the characters located in Japan, although they are weak and clumsy - glory to the creators and honor. An impressive amount of other small details confirm that the director and screenwriter did some research and respect Japanese history and culture, despite the fact that I was drunk then and am too drunk now to remember them in detail. There is nothing like that in Ninja Assassin. You've probably seen people roll their eyes when James McTeigue told audiences that he did a lot of research for his film. And by “research” he meant cocaine.

On the other hand, Scott Adkins in a leather jacket is very reminiscent of Hugh Jackman from “X-Men” and “Wolverine”. And this confused the drunken fan a little. Maybe Isaac was hoping that Fox would notice and let him make the action movie Wolverine Goes to Japan. Like, let’s do it, no question, it’ll be cheap and cheerful.

For its budget, “Ninja” looks damn good. You can forgive it for the fake CGI gore and poor dubbing, but the sets and direction are generally of surprisingly high quality. There's some dumb shit, too, like a cult of Russian assassins with a secret hideout outside New York, dressed like they escaped from the set of The Warriors (1979), but that fits the story pretty well. In terms of dark, powerful action, Ninja is far superior to its older brother, Ninja Assassin. Despite a certain bias towards the action films of the 80s, he is not arrogant, does not pander to the viewer and does not cause disgust. After watching it, you don't feel as if it was created to purposefully make you yearn for such entertainment. Oddly enough, for some reason this stupid B movie is so refreshing... Unlike some movies with big, loud titles. Ahem... Ahem... Machete. Hmm... Robert Rodriguez. Hmm...

But what you all really need to know is that the film has an elaborate fight in a moving subway car in which Scott Adkins throws a Russian through a window. The guy flies out and is hit by an oncoming train. It may well be that I was completely drunk at that moment, but I started clapping so loudly that I woke up my roommate. She wasn't very happy.

So buy yourself a case of beer or a bag of wine, or both. Order yourself some Chinese lunch, call your friends and get ready for one hell of a good time.
...

Author: indiemaker
Source: Twitch
Translation: EvilDollaR

Home » Reviews » Translated reviews » Drunk review of the action movie Ninja
Tags: Ninja, Ninja Assassin, Isaac Florentine, Scott Adkins

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