Resourceful, inventive and experienced kung fu masters can easily turn any object into a weapon, even a small bench! This ancient type of wooden bench was once an integral part of the furniture in Chinese restaurants. Even now it is used as a weapon in some styles of kung fu.
Specifications:
- Weight: 6,81 kg
- Height: 45,72 cm
- Length: 101,6 cm
- Width (at widest point): 35.56 cm
Description:
Owning a shop is a rare and ancient art that was practiced, believe it or not, in Shaolin. At times, this innovation was criticized by many. But after several face-to-bench showdowns, so to speak, most of the scoffers were forced to admit, spitting their teeth out of their mouths, that the bench could indeed be a valuable weapon in battle.
Theory of origin:
Chinese peasants could protect themselves using standard household items found at home.
Possible alternative theory:
Elderly people could protect themselves in the park from greedy ducks demanding more grain.
Practicality (these days): 1/10
The benches of ancient China have nothing in common with the bulky benches of today. They are more suited to comparison with footstools. Therefore, we recommend finding a more useful system for training martial arts, unless, of course, you plan to become the most dangerous shoeshine boy in your city (and this is quite achievable, since, most likely, you will become the only shoeblack boy in town since 1930).
A phrase that can be spoken while using this weapon:
Original (with pun):
Bet I can bench more than you!
Comic translation options:
I bet I can bench more than you!
I'm much smarter than you!
No, no, no, David Blaine, put benches in my mouth!
My bench is longer than yours!
Squat seven times, hit once.
The further into the forest, the wider the bench.
A bench is not a wolf; it will not run into the forest.
Characteristics of the wooden bench:
All avid fans of Hong Kong action films will immediately remember the funny and acrobatic stunts in the fights in which Jackie Chan used a wooden bench. Remember “The Drunken Master” and the fight with the King of Darts. But even now, kung fu remains unique in its own way because it is inextricably linked to real-life situations. “What would I do if a fight broke out in a restaurant?”
Most practical weapon?
As a kung fu instructor, I am often asked: “What type of weapon is most useful to learn?”
Maybe a spear?
Sword?
Or maybe a chain?
While trying to answer this question, I realized that I don't carry a weapon like this with me every day. And if the weapon is not with me when I need it, can it be regarded as truly useful? This does not mean that skills with a spear, sword or chain are useless - all of these can be the best weapons. And the “best” weapon is the item that is at hand at the right time.
Wooden benches were once a common part of Chinese furniture. They could be found in restaurants, taverns and residential buildings. They have become a weapon in street fighting due to their availability and effectiveness during use.
And they were effective mainly because they were not actually weapons. The bench is a piece of furniture; it was not regarded as a weapon. In regular martial arts schools, students learned how to use and defend against the standard weapons most commonly used. But when you come across an excited person waving furniture around him, you can be seriously scared, because it is very difficult to predict how this person or the furniture will behave in his hands. A non-standard weapon has an advantage over an enemy accustomed to a conventional weapon.
Wooden benches are much harder to find these days than they were in 19th century China. Especially those made in the traditional style.
However, they are a reminder to fighters of one of the integral concepts of Chinese kung fu: kung fu is not a mysterious thing found only in remote temples on the tops of sacred mountains, nor is it an activity within the confines of the local martial arts school. It is a particle of the environment found in everything, a useful resource for those who are able to extract it.
Source: kungfubrothers.com, wle.com
Information Search: Jason DinAlt
Translation and 3D visualization: EvilDollaR
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They sat on benches, they sat on benches, but they didn’t sit on benches :)